America Needs A Loving Grandpa

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

America needs a loving Grandpa like Bernie Sanders, not an Evil Stepmother, a crazy uncle, or some weird cousin that is really into taxidermy...I was giving it some Deep Thought tonight, Modern Philosophers, and America is like one huge family.

We don’t always get along, but we’ve got that same patriotic blood running through our veins, and we love our home sweet home.

Right now, the family is in chaos.  Everyone’s fighting, no one wants to mow the lawn, and the garbage hasn’t been taking out in months.

It’s pretty clear what this family needs to make everything all better again…

America needs a loving Grandpa.

We need to be spoiled, we need to feel like someone’s listening to us, we need someone to run to when our parents are being jerks.

America needs Bernie Sanders.

Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges, he shouts a lot, and he really seems fixated on a few stories that he likes to tell over and over, but he’s our Grampy so we love him.

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